On a hilltop in Banawa, Cebu Philippines…
there is this sculpture…
One of fourteen…
The Stations of the Cross.
And I ponder this today…
just a little Lenten fast meditation…
yielding strength through weakness…
drawing me closer to Our Lord.
This is part six on the fast. part 5 is here, and 4 is here, three here, two here, and it began here.
Eight hours in and it could be the pneumonia I’m recovering from, or not eating, but I feel weaker and more foggy headed than normal. Keeping in mind that I never really get sleep anyway – and foggy headed is kind of the norm.
And there are hunger pangs.
I’m wondering if maybe this weakness is training…
an infinitesimally small sharing of the weakness Our Lord felt…
on the Via Dolorosa.
And I meditate on the Second Station…Our Lord is given the Cross to carry.
And I think about the wood of the Cross…and how Your Gospel works.
From a tree came death at the beginning of human history…
and You carried on Your shoulders…wood…cut from a tree…
the Carpenter carrying a wooden beam…
with which You would set right what we set wrong.
Upside down Gospel.
I’ve often wondered if there was an easier way.
But no…
because you chose this way…
I know this was the best way….
the best way for humanity to partake of the goodness of God…
and live forever with the God of goodness…mercy…and Grace.
Did you know this as You carried the cross?
Or were You just being obedient to the Father?
I think of Your back…
already torn and shredded by scourging…
cut and scraped anew by the splinters of the beam…
Your back upon which You carried…
My. Cross.
And I think of how this really happened…
real people…real You…real life.
Nobody can get away with denying it anymore.
And I thank You…
for giving us this gift of faith…
grounded in history, grounded in fact, grounded in You.
I need…
we need…
a real faith for life…
grounded in One real life…
and death…
and resurrection.
I think that.
I swim in it…
like the first Springtime plunge into a crystal blue lake.
I think that…
also…
I really want some Ramen noodles…
I am so spiritual ¯\(°_o)/¯
There is more to this 48 hour fast.
Please come back.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
The tree at the beginning and in the end–brilliant. The Ramen Noodles–Hilarious. I like you already. Grace and Peace.
Polly, thank you, really, thank you. The mystery of the crucifixion, the mystery of the Trinity, and real life that has to be lived – that’s the balance of our faith. Grace and peace to you too – and again, thank you.
Ramen noodles. . . . and the gift of faith. Somehow, in some strange brainfog way, these just seem to go together here. I love both!
But when I was reading through this, it was “the gift of faith” that just shot out at me. Way back when, when you shared your life story and struggles, I remember you talking about that doubt that stayed with you for so long. To see here this gift of faith rise from you shows the depth and extent of the journey, Craig. As hard as it may seem to you today, I love where you are. I feel I have been in a Holy place and walk away with my shoes removed!
I think the Bible is clear on this Cora, faith IS a gift. Maybe we can’t believe on our own – maybe we’re too natural – maybe were two broken – we can choose to believe – but then maybe God takes that choice and gives us the ability TO believe – even though we doubt. Lately, in this struggle against darkness I’ve been sharing, there has been something whispering to me to forgo all of these 27 years of faith – as if they aren’t real – as if it wasn’t something that became an inseparable part of me a long time ago. I remember writing, either here or on Deep into Scripture that doubt is the handmaiden of faith – I believe – I can’t NOT believe – but I can be slowed down, and I can fail to live in light of my belief – as can we all. In this year of “see” – I think there really is more going on than what I can “see” I guess my eyes will need to keep getting better. God bless you my friend!
{ 1 trackback }