And a hand raises to beckon him near…
closer…closer…face to face…
and a wave of pain passes and she breathes…
and her palm to his face she turns his head…
his ear to her lips…
and a whisper…
“Makes sense…baby…savior…sheep…cave”
He shakes his head, “No!”
And her other hand cups his face…
“Yes…yes…yes.”
Words interrupted by pains…and the beginning of a smile…a laugh…
“We are…who we are…but He is…he is…
and she’s unable to continue through the pain.
Tears down his face…
his hand being squeezed.
He had no idea how strong she was.
And her face so wet her tears blended in…
…invisible.
the tears of Mary almost always invisible.
No more time for argument…
it was time…
…time for the light of the world.
The most humble of beginnings. Mary would know. Joseph seems always to be carried along by the story. A proud papa humiliated, and a most humble mama knowing that a palace wasn’t the place for this birth, or even an “inn”, or a home, but a cave…filled with sheep, filled with mess that needed cleaning…the place for a Good Shepherd, because the people were sheep, aimless, careless, lost, messy.
Still nodding she adds, “A cave…Joseph…”
“I’m sorry.” He whispers.
“No, no…” she replies…
“A cave…Yes! Yes…
yes.”
“No, he would say…
Each refusal countered with yes…
“No” “Yes” “No” “Yes” “No”…
“Yes”
She was willing Joseph to agree.
And finally he yields and echoes her words…
“Makes sense…baby…savior…sheep…cave”
Each word slowly pouring out in resignation.
“Yes…” he continues…
“Yes…
I’d choose it to be different…
but…
yes.”
And no more debate. A baby born.
Even the beginning was humble.
This baby teaches before uttering a word.
I sought humility this Christmas…prayed for it…
told God I wanted to find it…
and it…found…me…
humiliated, and now more than once…
once in public and carelessly, this last time in private… disdain wrapped in care,
the second humiliation, came second hand, by a kind messenger…
like the one Joseph received.
Still, I want to fight like Joseph…
“No…No…No!”
Poor Joseph…
tired of the hard…
nothing is right…
enough already…
enough of the humble!”
But if I am to be like Jesus then it seems the simple word is to be repeated again and again….
Good intentions misunderstood, have had ripples. And the humiliation has continued. It has stretched as far as Nashville. You know I’ve been planning on attending Blissdom this year…but there will be no blog conference, no chance to learn, and connect, and further a dream.
And the clock keeps ticking to midnight.
This is my Christmas of humility, by means of humiliation…
no lights for me this year…but it’s ok…
No tree, no cards, no gifts… but it’s ok.
family divided and separated…
everything poured into a dream that may not be…
no money, a body that doesn’t sleep…
trial, and misunderstanding, and personal attacks…
But it’s ok.
Yes…Yes…Yes…
to share in His humility this Christmas…
in a cave…
in a mess…
wandering and needing a Good shepherd…
and be like Mary…
and be like her son…
And the Savior cups my head…and there is no averting of any gaze…
“No, no…” I speak words of resistance…
“A cave…Yes! Yes…yes.”
“No!” I say…
each refusal countered with yes…
“No” “Yes” “No” “Yes” “No”…
“Yes”
He is willing me to agree.
And finally I yield and echo His words…
“Makes sense…baby…savior…sheep…cave”
Yes…
Yes…
I’d choose it to be different…
But yes.
{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
Life here on earth…..it didn’t even begin with something great even for our King, I am so glad He is the light, the one who makes things bearable here as we have life here on this earth. The deep emotion that Joseph and Mary faced bringing THE KING into such an imperfect situation. She must have wanted to hold Him in until she almost burst!!!!! Joseph, doing as told, still seemingly not to have worked out, maybe feeling a bit like He failed.
Craig, I here your saddness in this. It makes me sad…….you come across so caring and loving and your genuine writing and comments draws me to more of what you have to give every time. It’s a calling, a gifting, there is just no denying this. I am concerned about your ‘family’ situation? I know how complicated family stuff can be and I am taking a few minutes to pray for you and yours. To bring some unity back, your health, that the Lord would bring divine intervention on your behalf and a miracle is unfolded on your behalf this holiday season. You are too good to only be sitting behind a screen and talking to those of us that want to talk to you, but that the Lord uses you and ministers to you with touch and words, and face to face interaction. I pray that the Lord will make you feel extra loved this season by way of absolute God intervention! Thank you for being such a ‘man’ of God, I have said that before, but that is what I think everytime we cross paths.
There is more, Mr. Craig, there is more!!
Marlece, I think you captured what their feelings might have been brilliantly. And oh, yes, there is sadness, but with blogging everything gets chronicled, and all I have to do is take a peek back to the beginning of the month when I asked for lessons in humility. I am humbled – I am. Thank you for your kind words about my writing, it’s been improved a lot through the year by the reading, and connecting. And my family situation – it’s just the head of it who has played games, and matched one sibling against the other until now they are all spread apart – that sad. It’s not something that would’ve happened if my mother was around. Thank you for your prayers – My prayer is pretty simple – to want God’s will, as I pray for God’s will, and then just to know that what happens is his will. Very simple. When I keep it like that – well – things are as they should be. Thank you Marlece, Merry Christmas.
Sending you a card and a tree with dozens and dozens of twinkling starry lights. I read both posts coming over from Ann’s this morning. Sometimes less IS more; always with Jesus. What’s that verse? Humble yourself in the eyes of the Lord that he may lift you up. Oh, may he lift you up indeed. Grace and peace to you from God our FATHER and the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.
Beth, I’ll just pretend that I got the card and the twinkly lights – thank you. I read a quote as I was studying “humility” that said something to the effect of, “the problem with exalting the humble is that they don’t remain humble long after they’ve been exalted” – food for thought, huh? anyway, thank you for the grace and peace, and Merry Christmas.
Hey Craig, here’s a gift for you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60OMzuNYVM8&feature=related
nice Beth, nice, thank you.
I’m sorry things worked out like they did. I appreciate your goodness about it (I don’t know if I could have been as good, but I hope so). I like what Beth said here and I’d like to say it too for extra supplication to the Lord. Humble yourself in the eyes of the Lord that he may lift you up. Oh, may he lift you up indeed. Grace and peace to you from God our FATHER and the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen. Yes I did a copy paste, but not before praying that over you.
Beside your name on my prayer list I will add, “that He lift you up indeed” and I pray 2012 will be the year… even sooner should He be willing.
God bless you as you journey, God bless you as you grow;
God bless a heart that’s yearning, while Hands mold your soul.
Much love and many prayers headed your way Craig.
thank you Victoria, and thank you again for your “truth in love” comment yesterday. It really is appreciated to have someone who reads, and thinks about my words, the way you do. And then speaks up, directly, and even in opposition – speaks with love. Thank you for cutting and pasting – and praying. ( smile). God bless you Victoria, Merry Christmas.
Dear Craig,
I think it was no mistake or coincidence that I came here from Shanda Oakley’s blog http://www.shandaoakleyinspires.com/2011/12/home-for-holidays.html. She writes about being homeless at Christmas. I think she has covered most of the conceivable ways one can be homeless at Christmas so that all of us will find ourselves there somewhere. The saddest are those “who do not know Christ and do not have a heavenly home to look forward to.” Ah, Craig, you are not the saddest!!! In fact, you are at the head of the pack in heavenly homemaking.
“Jesus left his home so that we would never have to be homeless again. Home begins now when we make our home with Jesus. It is consummated one day when He takes us home to our heavenly home.”
Many do not have good earthly homes. I never had a functional parental home. When my grandmother died that was the end of family gatherings. I understand your sadness about that. I think it’s another thorn. My sense of home began when I accepted Jesus as my Savior.
Ann Voskamp talks about praying to be a womb for Jesus during Advent. Soon the preparations for Christmas started to snowball, with all the trouble and extra stress this time of year brings with it. She began to realize that being a womb for Jesus meant pain, stretching, heaviness, waiting and then opening wide for whatever it would take for the birth to be accomplished. You prayed for humility and were brought low. I’ve got to say, Craig, I’m a little timid about “growth” type praying for myself these days!
You are being prepared for something big. I know it doesn’t make it any easier now, but when you see the fulfillment, you will drop lower than you are even now in holy awe. And PLEASE keep writing. I want to see how this all unfolds. When Christ lifts a person up, ALL see it. They may not realize the source of the advancement, but they do see it. Those of us who know the source will be dancing and praising and shouting. “Glory to God in the Highest!”
Standing with you,
Dawn
A homeless Christmas – that post I could’ve written two years ago – not right now. And that prayer I prayed – I think back on it and I didn’t ask to “grow” in humility – I just asked to learn – I really hate the way it happened – but obviously I can’t argue with the results. And I don’t know about the something big – really I don’t, it’s a nice thought – thank you. And I’ll keep writing – and maybe do some videos – thank your encouragement. Merry Christmas to you and the muttlies.
I am so touched by your story of Mary and Joseph – you have brought them, and the reason for the cave, to life and clarity for me. We, like Joseph, do not want the Savior to be born under such humiliating circumstances, but, as you show us, it is right . . . it is God’s way.
I also hear the hurt in your heart. Mine breaks for you. Know I am keeping you in my prayers. “And, may the peace which passes all understanding keep you in the knowledge and love of God and of his Son, our Savior, Jesus Christ.” ~ Book of Common Prayer
May He bless you in ways you cannot even imagine in the days and year to come . . .
I’m always blessed, always blessed, just never many “blessings” – and that’s okay – it is as God would have it – I’m okay with that – not really happy happy with it – but okay – content – humble – humbled.
My heart hurts for your heart. I am sorry about your family and the conference. Sometimes things just stink. Praying for you during this hard time friend. Hope you have a Merry Christmas.
Praying for Him to lift you up, too. And sad about the whole Blissdom thing. Praying and believing that God has something better than that for you! He has good plans for you, Craig. God bless you and keep you in this season of humility.
the bunnies win – more of them, too many to defend against, I can only hope God has something better for me – weary, tired, beaten –but always blessed, always HIS. anyway, Merry Christmas Debbie – I put my Christmas poems up again – God bless.
Why is it that learning to humble ourselves is oh so painful? Seems like Christmas is a perfect time to seek humility; Jesus’ birth was the definition of humility on that first Christmas. I’m sorry this is a hard Christmas for you but sometimes it’s necessary for our growth, no? Wish you were near and I could invite you over for Christmas Eve dinner with the family, Latin-style =)
Mari, thank you, espero que su Navidad latina sea feliz, y llena de la familia, el alimento y la risa. Your invitation was a nice thought – I am glad, really glad our words crossed this year. God bless.
{ 1 trackback }